Resources
As a divorcée, I challenge you to be curious. Building a better life and relationships depend on your willingness to learn more about yourself and uncover what you want. I will continue to update my resource list with inspiring books, movies, articles, and podcasts to help guide you through your journey of rediscovery, not only through a divorce but through life. Currently, there is no particular order to the list, so be sure to scroll down. If you have any suggestions to add, please share them with our private Facebook group.
By Don Miguel Ruiz
This book changed my life. A girlfriend recommended it, and after I read it, I knew that my first marriage did not serve me, and there was nothing I could do to piece it back together. Ruiz is a renowned spiritual teacher and author. I found his book very profound, and it ultimately challenged my views on the definition of a healthy relationship. It’s not an easy read, so have an open mind and stick with it.
By Gary Chapman
Wow, I needed to read this book before entering any relationship! Chapman breaks down the way we express our love into five different languages. Before reading this book, I didn’t understand that I showed my love when I emptied the dishwasher and cleaned the house as an “act of service” kind of gal. You will discover tools to help you navigate how you show love and recognize how others show love, which ultimately leads to more fulfilling relationships.
I consider this the bible for relationships; it’s a must-read.
By Elizabeth Gilbert
Interested in going on a journey around the world to heal? Escape with Elizabeth Gilbert as she moves through Italy, India, and Bali and learns to forgive herself and love herself after a divorce. Gilbert truly makes you feel like you are accompanying her on the trip and if you’re not into reading, you can check out the movie version!
Check out my blog article on finding your Eat, Pray, Love moments too.
By Marie Kondo
Often a transition in your life begs for a shift in your environment. I’m not going to lie, when I first read this book on an airplane, I cried. Finally, someone understood how organization cleared and cleansed my mind. Letting go of material items I shared with my ex and sending them with love helped me declutter my world and my mind.
Check out my blog article on how you too can ‘KonMari” your life.
By Bill Burnett & Dave Evans
Divorced, married, or single, this book is an amazing resource if you are stuck in any part of your life. I read the book when I was going through a transition in my career and have recommended it to several girlfriends. If you really want to treat yourself, check out the accompanying journal on Amazon as well and start designing your new life. And yes, it’s an interactive book, so get ready to figure out how to design your BEST life.
By Natalie Lue
One of my best friends recommended Baggage Reclaim, and wow, is it a gem. In addition to a podcast, which is linked, Lue also offers courses, books, a blog, and many additional resources. Lue shares her journey to restore her self-esteem, develop boundaries, and unpack her emotional baggage. Her mission is clear; it’s time for you to reclaim your baggage and be free from your past.
By Marie Forleo
Literally, everything is figureoutable with Marie Forleo by your side. Forleo has created an amazing array of channels to share her words of wisdom and demonstrate practical ways to become the person you want to be. From MarieTV to podcasts, she is a powerhouse and a wonderful support if it’s time to start creating solutions. Oprah named her as a though leader for the next generation and trust me, her words are powerful. Also, she’s into hip-hop and spirituality, so I’m here for it!
By Melody Beattie
One of my best friends recommended this book and it has been a permanent fixture in my office ever since. In need of daily inspiration? Look no further! Beattie is an acclaimed author and her daily meditations are soothing and touch on each day of the calendar year. I find that her words of inspirations are like an extra cup of coffee to start my day…or at least an extra sip!
By Dr. Brené Brown
In my opinion, Dr. Brené Brown is one of the thought leaders of our generation. As a researcher and author she encourages us to dare greatly across in every of aspect of our life. From relationships to parenting, this book shares how to embrace vulnerability and imperfection to live a courageous, and deeply rewarding life. Shouldn’t you dare greatly in your next relationship? Trust me, you are worth it and so is this read. Also, check out her special on Netflix. “The story I’m telling myself in my head,” is my new phrase for handling any disagreements.
By Shonda Rhimes
If you haven’t seen a trend yet, I love female authors, entrepreneurs and change makers. Shonda Rhimes may be best known for her incredible TV series like scandal and Grey’s Anatomy, but she’s also an introvert. She challenges herself to participate in a year of yes and I challenge you to do the same thing. If you just ended a relationship, it may be time to start your own year of yes, dance it out, stand in the sun, and be your own person too.
By Don Miguel Ruiz
Four rules that I strive to live by everyday; be impeccable with your word, don’t take anything personally, don’t make assumptions, and always do your best. Ever since my divorce, I have been on a personal journey to live my best life and embrace each moment. Often a big change in your life jump starts transformation. The Four Agreements is a profound read and I have come back to it time and time again.
By Mira Kirshenbaum
Mira Kirshenbaum is a world renowned therapist and takes you through 36 questions designed to help you realize the heart of your relationship and the issues lying beneath the surface.
By Elizabeth Gilbert
Are you creative and stuck? Big Magic and The Artist’s Way (scroll down) are my two favorite creative accelerators. Creativity doesn’t have to mean painting, writing, or playing an instrument; it can translate into strategic thinking, problem solving, and more. If you feel a little stuck, I highly recommend this book.
By Dr. Nicole LePera
Do you keep repeating the same patterns in your relationships? Ever wonder why? Dr. Nicole LePera, a holistic psychologist, walks you through ‘the work’ that it takes to uncover the ah-ha moments about why you do what you do. I believe that doing ‘the work’ is the only way you can change your trajectory. Come in with an open mind, and this book will be an incredible resource.
From health and wellness, to relationships, the Goop podcast always has an array of interesting episodes to tap into. Here are a few of my favorites to get your started:
What makes a good marriage, Starting and ending a marriage, Gwyneth Paltrow & Jay Shetty: What happens when you spend time with yourself, Gwyneth Paltrow & Elena Brower: On divorce and self-forgiveness.
By Gabrielle Bernstein
Let me ask you a question, how many times have you judged yourself or others today? Did it make you feel good after? When I was going through my divorce my headspace was complete garbage and it translated into judgement. If you are ready to release the beliefs that aren’t serving you, check out Gabrielle Bernstein’s work.
By Rachel A. Sussman
Let’s face it; break ups are a part of life, but they don’t need to rule your life. Psychotherapist Rachel Sussman walks you through a 3 phase process to heal and create your own personalized Love Map.
By Glennon Doyle
Tabitha, you’re a goddamned cheetah, ok? I listened to this on Audible and couldn’t turn it off. Glennon Doyle takes you through the events of her life that lead her to find her true love, herself, and her voice. An exquisite book that challenges your way of thinking.
By Mel Robbins
5,4,3,2,1; it’s time to take control with Mel Robbins. This multi-talked guru breaks down the ‘hard things’ so you can regain control. Her series Start Here (scroll below) is also one of my favorites. She has very approachable action plans and doesn’t beat around the bush.
The headline says it all: “Life offers you a thousand chances. All you have to do is take one.” Follow Frances (Diane Lane) as she impulsively buys a villa in Tuscany after the end of her marriage. If you can’t travel to Italy, why not escape for a few hours with this beautiful film.
By Katherine Woodward Thomas
After years of dating again, I was striking out. A girlfriend suggested this book to get me in the right mindset. I was skeptical but found that the exercises helped me see some of the patterns I was repeating from past relationships and expecting different results. After my friend read it and worked through the journaling, she found the one. What can it hurt?
By Dr. Jennifer Freed
If you are interested in astrology and birth charts, this resource is for you! Dr. Jennifer Freed, a psychological astrologer, shares how to navigate your birth chart and tap into your talents and determine your life’s purpose. Interested in a preview? Check out the Goop podcast episode here.
By Jenniffer Weigel
Excuse me, waiter, this isn’t what I ordered. Don’t you wish you could send back your relationship like a meal gone wrong and have the manager comp a free dessert? Jenniffer Weigel shares her personal journey moving forward after her marriage ended. I also loved her book, “I’m Spiritual, Damnit.” Her upbeat personality, witty sense of humor lend incredibly well to an Audible listen. Check out her website for additional resources.
By Dr. Brené Brown
Calling all perfectionists! Did your divorce challenge your perfect track record? It sure shook up my world and the sense of failure was overwhelming. As you may guess, I love Dr. Brené Brown and other than her famous Ted Talk, this was my first read. Embrace who you are and say sayonara to the old you.
By Mel Robbins
Do you have 30 minutes and want to focus on your career, relationships, emotional eating, etc? Mel Robbins can help you Start Here. I love how short, practical, and approachable these inspiration snippets are to implement. I have re-listened to each episode at least once. Best part; if you have an Audible subscription, the series is complimentary. Don’t know where to start…Start Here.
By Samantha Irby
A hilarious collection of short stories that will have you in tears. I have found that reading inspirational/self-exploration books needs to be in rotation with entertainment and binge-worthy books for my sanity. I discovered this gem through my book club and almost peed my pants after reading the first story. I made SO many mixed tapes in my day. If you need a break, take a journey with Irby and also check out her other title “We Are Never Meeting in Real Life” for some hilarious stories on dating.
By Gabrielle Bernstein
Have you ever noticed that when you feel confident and sure of the world, things just happen for you? Do you wish you could transform your fear? Check out all Gabrielle Bernstein’s podcasts and free resources here and start harnessing your energy and transforming your life.
By Julia Cameron
Interested in discovering and recovering your creative self? The Artist’s Way is the gold standard in creative discover. Julia Cameron takes you through 12 weeks of exercises to show you what is holding you back and how to move forward. If you feel stuck in any way, I recommend this book! Artist’s dates and morning pages have become a grounding ritual in my life.
Sometimes you just need a chick flick, a glass of wine, and maybe some gummy worms to fill up an evening. Well that’s my guilty pleasure, what’s yours? Cameron Diaz is one of my favorite actresses and this movie just wants to make you check in with your girlfriends.
By Lori Gottlieb
Interested in hearing a therapist’s take on therapy? This book is a cross between a realistic view of therapy and a really good novel. It’s a fast read with such interesting stories that can help remind you that literally everyone has issues. I like to think of therapy as a physical for your brain.
By Sark
My artistic hero and inspiration gifted this to me in my early 20’s. Honestly, I wasn’t into reading then, but I revisited it in my 30’s and loved the playfulness of the pages filled with feminine energy. Embrace your womanhood with this book and enjoy the simple gifts each page shares.
Don’t even laugh but this movie changed my life. Stay tuned for a blog article coming soon. On a lonely Friday night, early in my divorce, I thought this would be uplifting and fun. I mean, have you seen Katy Perry’s outfits? She’s amazing! Instead, I was shown what true vulnerability and strength look like as Perry navigates through the news of her separation with Russell Brand. Spoiler alert; her outfits are fantastic!
By Chris Prentiss
Divorce had my nerve endings feeling frazzled and raw. My monkey brain ran wild and I often ran in the other direction from silence. Intuitively, I knew that stillness and silence held the answer to my own personal happiness. I consider this resource as a guidebook that can be revisited over and over again.
By Jessica Simpson
In this vulnerable memoir, Jessica Simpson is an open book. She recounts her early, very public divorce with Nick Lachey to toxic relationships (yes, I’ve had my “John Mayer” type too) to true love knocking at her door. Once she seemingly ‘has it all,’ she discovers the band-aid of alcohol and stimulants do not heal unaddressed trauma. I love how she owns her story, and let’s face it; she has a wicked sense of humor.
By Marci Alboher
In some situations divorce is more than the end of a marriage; it’s accompanied by the end of a lifestyle, career, or role. A stay at home mom may now need to look for a job. A newly single 30 year old may need to move in with her parents across the country (I’ll raise my hand to this). Divorce + starting over is scary. I have often struggled with finding just one passion. Marci Alboher introduces the ‘slash’ career. Why not mom/accountant/blogger? What is your slash and how can you embrace it?
By Kim McMillen with Alison McMillen
This book is tiny but mighty. Written by the McMillen sister’s mother, who died suddenly at the age of 52, it explores the messages she started to share with herself after she turned 40. I have found it to be an excellent journal and meditation companion. “When I loved myself enough, I quit settling for too little.” Whether it’s a gift for a friend or yourself, it’s filled with “inspiring words to help you find happiness and joy.”
By Rachel Hollis
Sometimes believing in yourself and starting over needs a spark to start the fire. Rachel Hollis is that spark. The subtitle, “stop believing the lies about who you are so you can become who you were meant to be,” really says it all. Hollis shares her personal journey into owning her self-confidence. Did your recent divorce knock you down a notch? Girl, wash your face and let’s do this thing.
