For true self-improvement and change, you must take a pause.
Space = Grace
Above my computer, I have a post-it that reads ‘Space = Grace.’ I’m not sure what I was doing when I wrote it down, but I have learned when inspiration strikes, you better listen. In Big Magic, by Elizabeth Gilbert, she shares how to capture your ideas and put pen to paper because they will find someone else if you don’t.
“Most of all, be ready. Keep your eyes open. Listen. Follow your curiosity. Ask questions. Sniff around. Remain open. Trust in the miraculous truth that new and marvelous ideas are looking for human collaborators every single day. Ideas of every kind are constantly galloping toward us, constantly passing through us, constantly trying to get our attention.”Elizabeth Gilbert, Big Magic
The concept of giving yourself space feels so easy, yet I find it to be highly challenging. I’m guilty of being a pleaser and putting others first as a woman. My love language acts of service, so doing things for others shows my love. What I have found is that overloading my schedule does not create space.
Space is terrifying. Try this experiment if you are on social media or continuously on your phone. Take yourself out to a solo dinner, and do NOT look at your phone. Wait…Did she say to go on a solo date without my distraction/anxiety crutch?? Yes, I did. I speak from experience. Notice how awkward you feel. Notice your level of anxiety. Notice how you use your phone/book/etc. as a distraction to fill space. We are all guilty of filling our space. I’m asking you to be still.
I recently learned that creativity and ideas often come from silence, aka boredom.
When was the last time you sat and daydreamed without a purpose?
Have you ever noticed that great ideas come from a long shower or bath? Both activities give you space. Space can come in the in-between times. The time when you have 10-30 minutes in between a meeting or conference call. The time in between appointments. The time at night that we try to fill with Netflix or TV.
In a life-changing event, like the end of a relationship, we often need more space than we realize to gain our own grace. So what is grace? According to Vocubulary.com, the non-religious definition of grace includes:
- Elegance and beauty of movement or expression.
- A sense of propriety and consideration for others.
- A disposition to kindness and compassion.
To me, grace means being effortless, comfortable in your own skin, friendly but not a pushover, and leading your best life. Sign me up for grace, please… I’ll take two!
Space gives you time to reflect, heal, process, and gain insight. Don’t be afraid of it. You may not like the answers that space gives you, but trust me, you will continue to repeat patterns that do not serve you until you take the time to see them.
My formula for self-improvement is simple.
Try it. What’s the worst that can happen? Wait, I’ll answer that; you get bored.
Sending you love & space,